closure

an old lover

I know this might seem out of character but I contacted an old “lover”(just an imagined idea of a person, I was attached too). What was I looking for? I can’t tell you really. After meeting up without thinking nor the slightest idea of what is yet to come, here I am, my thoughts finally with no expectations as to what is to happen next. I can genuinely trust anything I say. The process might’ve taken long… 3 long years of total despair and massive inner monologues of real self-hatred and brutal thoughts. But now we’re here. And as much as I can stay and overflow myself with knowledge, it’s time to internalize it and live outside the world.

supposed to be common sense

It’s then we find ourselves in a childish altercation with someone who has no relevance nor any value in our life….at all. We don’t even realize that it’s all just a projection rooted in something deep inside that we might not want to accept or take a deeper look inside ourselves (or have no awareness of it). Accountability is one of many profound ways to gain respect, although we may be wronged… a lot, we all know why we say and do the things we ultimately do. If anything you should never let anything faze you. Sounds easy, yet can also be very discouraging if you find yourself loving anything and everything all around you.

rooted factors

Moments of us where true emotions shed light, projected on those we never thought to be compelled onto. You realize that in your deepest state of silent darkness, it’s finally released. It feels like it’s been calling to be free. Not to spread but to finally be liberated. That within all of what was suppressed is finally let go.